Undated post

Mildness hides extremity, though by reputation, that notion of the margin emits its signals. A meticulous merging of transformation with suruprise of originality with th the mercenary radiates its clean, crisp message to all who have the ears to listen. Here is a person not given to enduring toxic tangoes for long. The person who bets he can control this man may convince himself that his fantasy has come to pass, until this man has worked out the details in his phoenix-process. His would-be controller better not get too close, else he may be consumed in that release of a moribund self-concept that no longer works. For the self burns to the larger Self, and the process quickens over time. Each smaller self becomes the fuel for the connection to his Immortality. The controller is unaware of his own divinity, senses it in the Man-awakening-to-his-God-Self.

He may be drawn into a holy fire, if he doesn't keep his proper distance.

"Infinite Love Is All that There Is"

(David Icke said that, it's at the top of his website.)

The best place to create a mirror
would have to be the galactic
center that is simulatneously
everywhere aned nowhere. Hard
it is to grasp that, but just as good
would have to be the Black Heart
of Innocence. Telling truths need not
be trauma itself, if we remember
that love is at the bottom of all
our actions. We are sometimes chess
pieces, players in a cosmic drama
all busy delving into our own motivations
(or not), all trying out different actions
to see the responses of others--
or maybe just to goad them, or to trumpet
our achievements and specialness.
To see, really see from the Black
Heart Innocent vantage point, to witness
just what is, without judgment can
be tortuous enough without transporting
myself to the Black Heart of the Universe,
the galaxy's sacred center around
which all its solar systems revolve.
O Star Goddess at the center of it all,
please help me radiate out from void
from a blameless place, before judgment.
Help me to create this work for my firned,
a man I've loved for over 25 years.
He deserves my self-clarification.

Images

A Geoffrey Been sweater
Autumn leaves
Eagle
Scorpoion
Fish hook
Elvis
Nest of Blackbirds
Musical theatre
The Prairie
Dry days
Gold
Troubadours
Whirling Dervish
Professor
An American Wizard School
The Dolphin
Corn & Spinach
Earth of Water
Fishnet Stockings
Penis
Ass
Tigers
Chalice
Gates of Heaven/Gates of Hell
Separatio
Infinity
Ouroborous
Snakes
Sorcery
Between-the-Worlds
Rolling Stones "Under My Skin"
Searing Blue Sky
Icicles fringe on a cave
Tropics
Ipanema before Carnival
Spiders
Hypnosis
Psychological curiosity
Curare
A Murder Mystery
Velvet Heart
A Blcak Cape with Red Lining
A Cuddly Death (Aw!)
Gravelled tissues
Laurel Wreath
Prometheus healing from his wounds at night
Outside Hitler's Bunker, the Allies!
Richelieu & Rasputin
Jesus before the Sanhedrin
Purple Nehru Jacket
Planet Claire at war with Planet Loretta
Drag King Donald Trump
Christmas lights adorning a trash can
Jabba the Hutt
A gay Rasta Shaman
Yemaya, Goddess of Water
Episcopalian cannibals
A Surfer Convention
Superior Vena Cava
French Impressionist Exhibit
Fluxus
The First AA Meeting
A celient fan
Tsunami Wood Print
Saber Tooth Tiger Diorama
Ravel Remixed for a Trance Rave
Red-brick Fireplace with Christmas stockings
Brigid, Goddess of the Healing, Making a potion
Red candles in May
Undines guiding a drowning toward the light
Two men kiss under mistletoe
Spapeshifting into a crow in the dead of night
Emperor with no clothes
A successful Chess Opening
Middlebury transfer to Denver University
A Game of Go
A Taxi Strike
Money used as a weapon
Female intransigence
Wormohles
Necronomicon
The Monster from Alien
Keystone Cops Get Their Perp
The Unrewarded but Competent
Greenwich Village on the First Nice Spring Day
A Left Tennis Shoe abandoned in the street
The Sistine Chapel c. 1300
A Knight Templar Guarding the Jerusalem Temple
Druids at Imbolc
A nightstand with loved photos
Mirror reflecting candle light
Van Gogh's "A Starry Night"
"Corde Pulsum Tangite"
Espresso brewing at a Funky Urban Coffeehouse
An Italian cut suit
The Hypotenuse
Skewing the cruve
Overlimit Fees
Foggy London at Night
Santa Ana Winds
A Dog-Eared Copy of Valley of the Dolls
Tony LaBadie
A Summer of Soulmates
A Celine Dion concert
Executive Drag
A light at the forefront of an army of lights
The May Pole with Yellow, Green & Lavender Streamers
Frog with a tiara
A grove of hawthorn trees
A faery arguing with a sylph
An orantely decorated paper airplane
the locking of a casket
The Archaeopteryx in flight
St. Catherine & her wheel
A message from the Sirian Star System
A party with two backstabbers
Mike Miller, President
2 battered debate files
Cordless microphone
David Byrne's Powerpoint presentaitons
A femininely beautiful man
The Space Needle
A Pueblo Kiva
Los Angeles, California on a typical January day
A! The Scarlet Letter Musical
Objectivist argument aftermath
3 busted umbrellas form a fleur-de-lis in the rain
Houses on a cul-de-sac with Valentine's day decorations
A Peer, 2 steps ahead, waving others forward
A doctor suffering anaphylaxis
Lesbian Jayne Bond
Cold spaghetti breakfast amongst April flowers
The sperm called by the Egg
The Extemp Bag o' Topics
RW in the locker room
A sweat lodge in exurbia
Two friends walking and chatting on a busy street in a rainstorm
A snowflake
The Pleiades
Farrah Fawcett's feather hairstyle poster
Biology Class Crop-Rotation Unit
A campaign for city council
A town fighting a Big-Box Retailer
The founding fathers communing with nature
Children's music hidden messages
The Revolution on the Island of Misfit Toys
A woman objecting at a wedding
University During Finals
A Sunday Sunrise over Denver
The friend who stays one during fame
A healthy, wealthy community at the foot of a mountain
Anti-Japanese Chinese
Kawn Yin attended by sprites
The first draft of a play by a beginning writer
A closet atheist going through the motions at a revival
Peruvian coffee plantation
Winter's first deep freeze
Absolut Orange
Playing hooky with friends
The Aunt with "Bad inluence"
A dog-eared datebook
Little Sally drinks a Hot Toddy for her cold
A spirit shapeshifting into a stoplight
Mother's old purse
A PTA-sponsored Haunted House
Janitor Bodhisattva
Branwen in Mathonwy's kitchen
Nora Helmer leaving Torvald
Choice between the Trustworthy Jerk and the Loverly Shirker
Twelve Good Men and a Toady
A New Orleans psychic
Taking a pause
The second time the Wife says "No."
Remote viewing of a Druid Ceremony
The People of the Raven
The Blood-type diet
A son, his own grandpa!
The Star Goddess spinning the web of creation
The Day-O Sequence from Beetlejuice
A drumming circle riven by politics
A lonely sophomore witch
Black Forest Torte
The Last Child Leaving the Nest
Heloise and Abelard
Narcissus at the Pool
Standing at the Center of a Crossroads, All Choices Seem Equal
A Baseball cap with antlers
A Vermont Teddy Bear
The Cornucopia
Two Young Women wearing pink wigs
Arapahoe playing Cherry Creek for Homecoming
"T-da!" A Magician Lifts the Veil and a Rabbit!
Oedipus lying with Jocasta, blissfully unaware
Inanna and the Seven Gates of Hell
Dante's Journey to Heaven
A coed awakens to her natural birthright
Barbra Streisand evaluates a female impersonator "Barbra-ing."
A perfect Tarzan call
Santeros singing Negro Spirituals at a Convention
Scholarly discussion of Madonna studying Cabala
A Malachite Dragon
An organic chemistry textbook
A Fire-ceremony Honoring Brigid
Highschoolers partying in a basement
A shield spray-painted bronze
A group of bagpipers in a parade
Bodeys in the woodshed
A Christmas party in graduate student housing
An office going-away party
An Elegant Woman at the Hogcalling Contest
A farm blessed with menstrual offerings
A plague of mice
The Houses of Straw and Wood
$500 worth of glitter
A Kitchen Magnet of a Monet watercolor
Majestic Silence after a Rainstorm
The smell of snow before the blizzard
Hannukah candles the colors of the rainbow
Casseiopeia, or Llys Don
A Season of Noel Coward Revivals
A New Age lecturer reveals her shadow side
Flaky HR Staff gossipping
A Raccoon troop backyard hopping
A clear, living lake
The Surgeon who converts to Christian Science
Jewelry Box filled with keys
Glitzy starlets on a USO Tour
A bag of Whole-bean Christmas Blend
The Pearl Pentacle
Parody Motivational Posters
The One-Man Army of Terror
Butterfly in a case
The principal's stash of porn
The Mall on "Black Friday"
Kali and her skull necklace
Hadrian and his Antinous
Suppho's School
A collection of colored markers
Scarabs fighting to the death
The peacock guarding the palce against snakese
The blue part of the flame
Vluva-inspired artworks
The smell of beef stew on a cold Autumn eve
A writer's collection of spiral notebooks
A devotional dance to the spirits of air
Out-dated parenting manual
Louise Brooks's bangs
Betet Davis eyes
Toussaint L'Ouverture leading the slaves to victory
The US Army's gift of smallpox laden blankets to the Natives
A cord connecting the Galactic Center to Earth's Iron Core
Square coupling with a triangle
The stray dime
A black cat shapeshifting into a white dove
Tailgate picnic at a DU Homecoming Game
The last journey of the family van
Charitable tax writeoffs
CEO with a smudge stick banishing evil in his office
Vestal virgins defending the flame
Onlien oracles
The crucified prisoner to Jesus' left
A series of printouts on the path to perfection
A balanced account summary
The first month's report of a new product line
A geode
A stack of canned goods in a homeless shelter kitchen
Breakfast burritoes and coffee
Isaac Newton's alchemy research notebooks
Albert Einstein in reverie by a lake
The simple tin roof in a clena, well-lighted cafe
A Dr. Seuss US postage stamp
A free New Age magazine
The small-town antique store
A coupon for a discounted Gym membership
Pomegranate stalks in a vase
Rooke cops with their jaded partners
Teppes on the Plains at Sunrise
The County Swimming Pool on the hottest summer day
A Wish Jar
A Well-worn Appointment book
The cloudy sky just before a thunderstorm
Two magnets, one flipping around to connect with the other
A local artist's work showcaed in a nationally franchised coffee bar
The Tree on Raymond Road
Snowstorm with bright sun
Attorneys representing a famous author

Introduction

Michael--so begins this blog of your "reflective birthday present" for years 2004 & 2005. I'm basically going to be typing the document in on a piecemeal basis, pressing lunch hours into the process as I go through the journal and create the Mirror a bit at a time.

It's always interesting to think about mirrors, for they reflect back all of ourselves, don't they? But even so, some mirrors attempt at creating a perfect reflection, and others are so distorted as to bounce back meaningless information. I do try to put it all together, "warts-and-all," though creating this mirror has been as much about self-reflecting as it has been on fashioning something for you to look into and to see yourself anew. In any case, this was how I began the Mirror on November 24, 2004:

(Yes I actually did write in a green like this!) (Today is November 24, 2004. It's after 2 AM. 2: 17 Am. And the card I drew for today is The Fool, and I notice that this writing sparkles.

HO HO HO! Just had to add the red to put me in a FESTIVE XMAS SPIRIT Happy Winter Solstice.

I need also to llok at this blue pen as well, with its sparkles, because I think of those blue Xmas lights in my home... Though this purple also seems relevant for some snowy reason. And of course, how could I leave out this gold color. It's so Michael, actually. Hmmm... I need to write in this gold color, alternating with the Green, because teal is a Scorpio color. This gold is also a Scorpio/Sag color. Fall color. Tharee's also orange, is it orange-orange or red-orange--seems more red-orange to me. Seems a Tuarus color then. Orange-Red & Rust are Taurus colors, and in fact this color may be the perfect one to start writing whatever comes to mind re: Michael's play/story/poem/musical or whatever. (But let me write one sentence in this Pisces color for it's who I am.)

Now that I've taken the FROOT LOOPS approach... Onward.

Michael's Gifts (I'll have to wait to use that gold pen until I've written a couple of pages...)

For me the biggest gift Michael gives me when we talk is insight. He can hear my story, hear my patterns and gently, for the most part, let me know what he hears. He also struggles with a lot of the same stuff. But sometimes he's Harry Potter and I"m Ron/Hermione and other times I'm H.P. and he plays Hermione/Ron to me. We balance each other out. Sometimes we even go through a similar experience at exactly the same time, and we can give each other the benefit of unfolding material awareness. But what I sense right now is that Michael's gift is re-translating one's experience back to a person from a spiritually beneficial point-of-view.

Michael shows up too, when he says he will. It's important to write down the seemingly trfiling gifts, but consistency and follow-through bring a measure of groundedness into our friendship and they build on my own abilities in this area. (God it sounds like I"m writing a Performance Evaluation--ick!)

Michael validates my feelings too, and he can hear when I need to just say "I feel _" and know that the only axn I needed to take was to verbalize what I was feeling. He also has the ability to accept others as they are and he helps me to bring that out in myself, helps to bring it out in others. MIchael who knows he's not unteachable, though like any human being prone to irritabiltiy at odd times, he doesn't always like it. He can be petulant and even snotty at times (though usually not with me).

Every character in this work will be mIchael of course. They will embody different aspects of him.

OK... Getting a couple of ideas. I'm thinking of an American Hogwarts Deep in the Wisconsin Wilderness. "Misskota" or "Minnegansin." The Minnegansin School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Although Michael has a California aspect too. There's also his Omaha birthplace and Colorado years. Is it better to have the school in the Mountains or on the Prairie? (Or perhaps a locale that is both?)

This is just an idea, and it feels wrong, all wrong. It's too KJ Rowling, not Michael at all. The School should it exist, would be on another plane, in a journeyland.

"The Journeyland School," in the Lower World, perhaps. Or one of the MIddle-to-lower worlds.

In Ancient Greece, Michael & I were the first fellows to underwrite the DIonysia festival of plays. I see Michael with Cerridwen actually, in a Toga with a laurel wreath on his head, glowing and shimmering. Polymathos and Anabachos. Interesting the names. I was Anabachos, he Polymathos. Hm... I can't really see myself in that life. Perhaps I fell into the shadows, or probably I shielded him, his blazing light, revealing it only to a few people because I was scared of what would happen if it all were to be exposed. I taught him to release only so much, as much out of my own fear of being eclipsed as for the genuine fear for his life. He had so many talents and abilities, he aroused a lot of jealousy and we had our own fights, but I was nothing if not honest. I never hid my envy, tried to convert it into something else that would be useful. But I was also a realist and had witnessed another golden youth--my brother, I think--as he was gliding through his life until he riled the worng person. And Polymathos and Anabachos were surrounded by "the wrong persons." We implicitly understood our place in the gangsterocracy that masqueraded as an open agora of ideas. We knew exactly what was what, but that didn't stop us from dreaming. Polymathos, Aeskylos and Trzimenes were the first three writers--Polymathos under the assured name "Troichus." It would have been unseemly for the PRoducer to have also written one of the plays. The Oresteia wasn't our favorite of Esk's. We were partial to his Prometheus plays. But the Oresteia "put us on the map."

Michael has had many gifts, as have I. In this lifetime he has multiple gifts.

11/25 Pick-Me-Up 12:30 A.M.

Michael I'm not quite in my space yet, I have to write down his name. Michael. A warm feeling washes over me -- kindred spirit, fellow journeyman, peer, teacher, student all rolled in one. Tonight also, my dominant feeling is LONELINESS. I really would like to connect with someon. I'm longing to give love. I'm longing to receive love. To circuit love back and forth through this body,a nd so this is what I have to work with.

A compass. On some level I am writing 360 degrees of Michael. Sort of. Each degree juts off into thousands of worlds.